5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' 6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
Friday, November 20, 2009
5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' 6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Full of questions.
Does it ever feel like you woke up one morning and BOOM, you're an adult?
When did I become that girl who goes to bed at 9 pm every night and gets up at 7 am (6:30 on a good day) even on weekends? And how did sleeping until 8 am qualify as sleeping in? What happened to the days of staying up all night and sleeping until noon the next day?
When did I become the girl who has to watch what she eats? Long are the days of pizza, chicken wings, and burgers everyday for lunch.
When did I become the girl who plans everything out? From shopping lists to my daily schedule. When did "go with the flow" retire?
When did I become the girl whose thighs are so close together they can call each other by name? What happened to the thighs that once lived miles apart from one another?
What happened to the boobs ladies and gentlemen? No amount of gravity can keep these babies where they need to be. Whatever did I do to deserve this punishment? I didn't even nurse for goodness sake!
What happened to time? There is no such thing as free time anymore. If someone finds it hiding, please tell it to make a stop by my home!
And last, but not least; what the frick happened to dating? Once upon a time, this girl was never single. In fact, I was fighting men off. I would have a boyfriend, but have a backup list of guys who I could date at anytime, and no, I was not promiscuous.
Oh where, oh where have these things gone? Oh where, oh where could they be? More important, can I ever get them back. Especially the mile apart thighs! Come on, haven't I suffered enough!!!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
The hard part; reassuring a 2 1/2 year old that there is normality and consistency in his life. I sat Miah down and explained some things to him. I decided that no longer am I going to make excuses as to why he doesn't see daddy all the time. I told him that daddy loves him and I gave Miah the choice of deciding when he wants to spend time with daddy. When Miah decides he wants to see his dad it will be at our home and I will be there. I also told Miah that he can call daddy whenever he wants.
The part that hurts. Miah is worried that if he doesn't go to his dad's house he will "make daddy sad." My son shouldn't feel guilty about not wanting to go back to a place where he felt unsafe and afraid! This is what really gets me, since the incident last week his father has asked for another visit! The audacity of this man. What on earth would possibly give him the idea that he would ever have the option again to take Nehemiah for a visit! After talking to my parent's lawyer last week, I know that I have the right to deny all visitation that is not mutually agreed upon. Although I'm angry, I will continue to put Miah's best interest ahead of my feelings. When Miah is ready to see and talk to his father again, he will; under my terms.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Yesterday was quite a busy day for us. In the morning Nehemiah had to go for his flu shot. He was a bit freaked out about getting a poke, but it did help that Raheem (my nephew) had to get one too. Nehemiah really started to freak out when I had to break the news to him that our regular nurse was no longer there (I found this news out when I was signing Miah in). However, our other trusty nurse was there, so all was good. The boys did awesome with the shots! No tears or screams. The nurse said she had experienced her fair share of freak outs when giving shots. For example, an 11 year old kicked a hole in the wall and had to have 2 people calm him down. Two thumbs up for my boys being soldiers!!!
In the afternoon I had to go to the mall in Rochester to find shoes. I can only wear shoes that have rubber soles or it throws my alignment off, which throws off my balance, which results in swollen knees and bad back pain. I wasn't sure how this trip was going to go seeing that Miah had just gotten a shot, but he was fine. My 7 year old niece spent the weekend with us, so he was happy to have someone in the back seat with him. Not to mention that my 15 and 18 year old nephews joined us (can you tell that my nieces and nephews love their aunt).
After going into about 4 stores and trying on countless pairs of shoes, I was frustrated that I could not find one pair of shoes that didn't hurt my feet. I decided to try one more store before heading back home. We went into Lands End and I found a cute pair of shoes with rubber soles that didn't hurt my feet and didn't look like old lady shoes! I'm quite happy with my purchase, not to mention how well behaved Nehemiah was in each store (maybe the french fries I got from the food court helped!)
Last night we went over to Lisa's for our usual Saturday night dinner. The kids were all playing when all of a sudden Nehemiah started screaming at the top of his lungs. I went to see what happened and it turned out that his finger got pinched in the door. It took a good 10 minutes to calm him down and to get ice on the finger. He was able to move his fingers and the swelling went down with the ice. He does have a blood blister on his nail bed that freaks him out whenever he looks at it. My poor little guy.
So this is the conclusion of my weekend. Oh, I did find Nehemiah a doctor costume for Halloween. He can't wait to go to the Big Top party at his school on Saturday. Also, I received the results from Miah's evaluation and the greatest news, his behavior is normal for a 2 year old! He does qualify for speech and will be starting next week.
Monday, October 19, 2009
~How your professor can tell you to double check spelling in all your emails, but he spells words wrong!
~How you can give a doctor a complete analysis of what's wrong with you, but they totally dismiss it (that fatigued feeling I've had for months is actually a Vitamin D deficiency)
~How Miah can sleep during the entire church service, but wake up at home at the sound of a sneeze
~How the Gilmore Girls can eat at Luke's twice a day every day and not gain weight?
~How Bridezillas get a man in the first place!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Lately we have been faced with so many new things. We moved into our new house, and you've been sleeping in your own room. We have also been faced with the results of the speech/behavior evaluation you had last week. Let me start by telling you that I love you so much; to the moon and back! You are such a special little guy, who has brought such joy and purpose into my life. I treasure our special moments like last night when we ate "nem-em-nims" aka M&M's and pretended that I had to go to the doctor to get shots. We had so much fun! No matter what happens from here on out, please remember these promises to you. I love you my son.
1.) I will do whatever it takes to help you grow and progress
2.) I will NOT allow anyone to label you; your results only mean we have some things to work on, this does not determine who you are!
3.) No matter how rough your behavior may get, I will NOT spank you or allow anyone else to!
4.) I will advocate for you to make sure you continually get nothing but the best
5.) I will endure and suffer through your frustrations with you; you are never alone!
6.) I will ALWAYS welcome you into my arms without conditions
7.) I will ALWAYS wipe your tears first, and then mine
8.) Your needs will ALWAYS continue to come first
9.) I will continue to allow you to have and make choices independently, no matter what other people may think
10.) I will continue to respect decisions you make and compromise when necessary
Never be afraid to show people who you are, what you believe in and what you stand for!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
The greatest news, Miah is sleeping in his own room in his own bed! I'm so proud of the little guy and he's quite proud of himself. He's allowed to come into my bed in the morning, and so far I've been really good about sticking to this rule. He does wake up in the middle of the night, but I stand outside his door and settle him down. Sometimes I go in and pat his back and he falls right back to sleep. He likes his radio on and the door closed. He also likes it really dark, which is still a bit shocking to me.
I'm still working on strenghthening my back at physical therapy, but so far so good. Each week I'm making progress and I'm not in as much pain. I'm going to a new physician who happens to be a Christian who practices Eastern Medicine. She truly believes in the holistic approach, so she gave me a ton of insight about what I need to be doing to help this sciatica problem. The bad news is my allergies are extremely bad, so I'm on a restricted diet. This means no flour/wheat products, so my diet is lean meat, veggies, and fruit. I do feel better when I don't eat the good stuff like bread, so I guess I can't really complain.
School is great. I have a 96 in one class and an 87 in the seminar I'm taking. The session is over in 2 weeks, then it's on to math. I've been trying to stay ahead on assignments, so that I can spend my nights unpacking. Life is thinning out and I'm making more room to breath. Can't wait to post again more regularly.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
My sciatica injury is improving, but I faced a set back when I returned to work last Tuesday. The MRI I had done a few weeks ago came back showing no spinal damage, so we are pretty sure that I did damage my sciatica and nothing else.
My first two weeks of school have been going well. I took my first quiz Wednesday evening and got a 100! I guess keeping up with the reading assignments really do pay off.
Packing is coming along, and today I will finish the kitchen and my bedroom. We start moving boxes into the new house next weekend. I can't wait, but hate the idea of unpacking.
Nehemiah is growing like a weed, and is now in the preschool room. He no longer resembles a toddler, and I am amazed at how quickly he learns. He is now able to read his name and the names of all his classmates, as well as some site words. I am positive that he will be reading before kindergarten. I still haven't made a decision about keeping him in daycare, so we are just taking it one day at a time.
The last bit of good news I have to share is something I'm so very proud of. I have lost 15 pounds!!! I am half way to my goal and it feels good. I look good and it is the greatest feeling when you put on a pair of pants and they are too big. Something I can't say I am used to.
Once I get all moved in and my computer is up and running, I will be posting regularly again, so stay tuned.
Monday, August 31, 2009
1.) I will begin school next week; September 9th. This is such a big deal to me and it's still surreal that it is actually happening. I'm attending on-line and will be receiving my schedule via email sometime today. I received news last week that my financial aid left me owing over $4000. I was totally freaked and didn't know what to do. I tried taking out a loan, but it wasn't approved. With much prayer and supplication, I decided to attend part-time, which won't effect my financial aid as I had thought. I now have money left over for this semester and the winter and I will be graduating in 2012. This was suprising news because I didn't think I would be graduating until 2012 anyway, so it all worked out.
2.) I am giving my 30 day notice later on today or first thing tomorrow morning. I am going to be moving into the house next door and am so excited! My friend/landlord who I am going to be renting from gave me great news that she would buy the paint I picked out for the living room because she loved the color so much! That leaves me responsible for the paint in the dining room aka the toy room and for Nehemiah's room. Nehemiah is excited too because his room is going to be painted blue with lots of airplanes. I'm am dreading the whole packing things into boxes, but at least I don't have to rent a truck because I'm only going next door. I guess it's a good thing that I'm going to be out of work for awhile.
3.) My friend/landlord and I sat down last night and made out a budget for me. I was quite suprised that things worked out much easier than I had expected. I am learning how to spend responsibly so that I can start saving to possibly buy this house when it goes up for sale in about 2 years. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. I just have to learn how to really differentiate between a want and a need.
4.) I am continuing to have improvement with my leg and hip. I'm waiting to hear if my insurance is going to cover the MRI, so in the mean time I will be continuing physical therapy. I have been doing my daily strenthing exercises and they are getting easier each day. I will be out of work for about another month, but I found out last week that I am eligible for some disability so I will have some money that will be used for other expenses besides moving. I still can't drive, but my mom and dad have been so terrific with driving me where I need to go.
5.) I started reading a great book (another Nic recommendation) on spiritual guidance. It is really helping me realize that God truly believes in me. I've known this for awhile now, but have never actually had it explained. Reading this book each day has made me open my eyes to the fact that God has already given me everything I need to succeed in each area of my life right now. My life at this moment is exactly how it is supposed to be; including all the ups and downs and the many, many struggles that keep coming my way. I know now that I cannot fail! What a feeling!
6.) I have a big decision to make regarding Miah and daycare. To help me save money, I'm considering pulling Miah out of daycare and having my mom babysit each day. My mom has worked in child care for over 30 years and is quite excited about the possibility. She and I talked this morning and decided that if she does babysit him, she would take him to special play activities at the library each week so that he can still have interaction with other children. She said she would also do circle time and a craft with him, so that he is still learning as much as possible. I really like the daycare Nehemiah goes to; he has made great friends and has terrific teachers, so this is a hard decision. Let me know if you have any thoughts or suggestions.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
There is a certain someone (we shall call him "George") who has been in my life for 13 years, and will remain in my life for oh about another 16 years. "George" has been coming around a lot lately, and his help has been much appreciated. For the last few years, I have had on and off again love and anger toward this man. However, I've had to learn how to let go and accept that motherhood would continue with or without him. Have you figured out who "George" is yet?
Since he's been coming around, I noticed that there is no attraction to him anymore. No small flutters in my stomach, no anger that wants to shoot out, no hope that one day we would be together again. I have accepted that he and I will never be a couple again. I am well pleased with this discovery.
So, how did I respond when "George" decided to confess his undying love for me? I told him that I would always love him for two reasons and for those two reasons only. I explained that there would never be nothing more for the two of us. He was disappointed. I was relieved that finally I had spoken those words to him out loud.
I don't know if "George" meant everything he said to me, or if he was playing his usual games. Either way it goes, my heart has totally healed and I can now accept that some things that don't work out are truly for the best!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Last night I was in so much pain that I couldn't do anything but cry. I'm easily aggitated by everything, and yesterday I woke up with a serious case of post nasal drip that has not let up. I have been in tears a lot during the past few weeks and I still don't feel any better.
Since my parents and Miah's dad have been helping out so much with my parenting responsibilities, I'm starting to think that I'm not as good of a mom as I ought to be. I can't go out and play and I'm not supposed to be picking him up. I can't even hold him that long because I can't tolerate his weight on my leg. what kind of mom gets hurt and doesn't even know how it happened!
Miah has been throwing horrible tantrums and he even kicked me a few times. I'm convinced that my kid hates me! I think he's angry because everyone but me has been taking him to the park and outside to play. I can't even take or pick him up from school. There was a carnival over the weekend and my mom took him, which was great, but he told me that he was sad that I couldn't come. I totally feel like a slacker. Keep praying for me because I'm feeling defeated in many areas of my life right now
Monday, August 17, 2009
1.) Had a great time at the family reunion. Met lots of cousins and got to see relatives whom I haven't seen since childhood.
2.) Nehemiah did well with the car ride. He loved the hotel room, or maybe I should say he loved the beds in the hotel room because he got to jump on them.
3.) Here's the downer: On the car trip home, I some how managed to hurt my leg. Since last Sunday, I have had a swollen and painful left leg.
4.) I have had a Doppler test and so far, I don't have any blood cots.
5.) I had x-rays done on Friday and I'm still waiting for the results.
I'm on meds that totally make me unconscious. I haven't been able to work or drive in over a week. I'm in pain and I'm extremely stressed about this whole thing with my leg. Did I mention that I won't have a paycheck next week. To make things more difficult, I'm dealing with some family stuff that I have no control over. So much stuff has hit me all at once and frankly I'm feeling quite defeated. The weather has been fabulous and all I can do is hobble my way to the porch and watch Miah ride his bike.
Hopefully tomorrow the doctor will call me with the results of the x-rays. So until things with my leg get better I will remain at my parent's house on the couch watching daytime television. Please keep me in your prayers.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
1.) Went to a new consignment shop, which happens to be just a few blocks away from my house. It's a bit small, but is filled with lots of nostalgia. I discovered an awesome ring for $5.00!
2.) Finished disc 1 for Gossip Girl season 1 (disc 2 should be here Tuesday). So glad Serena and Blair are friends. Hope they stay that way...be sure not to ruin it for me by giving it away!
1.) Worked at the 4H Fair for a few hours. Learned a lot about emergency preparedness. Hope everyone has an emergency kit at home and in the car! It's super important, especially if you have children or animals.
2.) Went to Lisa's for dinner.
Had great Riesling White wine and enjoyed some steak.
3.) Got the chance to watch Legally Blonde while Nehemiah played with Raheem, Jake and Claire.
4.)Finally got to talk to Nicole, who is now officially my Georgia Peach. Although she's only been gone a week, it feels much longer.
5.) Received the long awaited notice regarding my loans. This means that I will finally find out what type of Financial Aid package I will be receiving. I was getting a bit anxious because school starts in a month.
1.) Went to church. Nehemiah brought his drum with him and had a great time playing it during worship! He especially loved playing while I sang with the choir.
2.) I woke up not feeling too great, so Nehemiah and I napped together after church.
2.) Read some more of ...
It's such a great book (thanks for recommending it Nic). I'm hoping to finish it this week.
Not a lot of excitement over the weekend, but that was more than welcomed. It was nice to have the chance to rest; this coming up weekend we will be driving to Ohio for a family reunion.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
For the rest of the evening Nehemiah decided to play in the sand. He scooped sand into the water and only wanted to put his feet in. I rolled up my capris and walked along the edge of the pond. Once he saw that I was okay, he held my hand and walked with me. He didn't get back into the water, but he enjoyed the sand and the fishermen who were on the other side.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
The statistics for my people are horrible. Many believe that we can't be successful unless we rap or play a sport. Making money seems to be what drives most, except greed starts to over take need. When are we going to hold ourselves to a higher standard?
Seeing that I don't fit into this classification, where does this leave me? I'm not "black enough" for some of my sistas because of my light skin and "good" hair, or maybe it's because of the way I raise my son.
At 27, I still get teased for the way I talk and the music I like. And as far as my parenting, that seems to be a public discussion. I hear constantly, "We don't do things like that cause we're black. Only white people treat their kids like that!"
Shut up already! I know the legacy that runs through my veins. I know the story of the struggles my people went through. I know where we have been and the journey we are yet still on.
Just because the "good things in life" and the "American dream," seem to be reserved for those who are not of color, does not mean that I will stand back and not fight for my piece of the pie. My accomplishments, goals and dreams, for me and my son are not painted in white, black, brown, or tan. They are painted with hope and faith, and that's all we need to get us by!
So if my walk and talk offend you, well then it's just too bad. To fit into your preconceived notion about how this BlAcK woman should be living her life? Thanks for your unwanted opinion, but actually...I'm aight!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
It looks like I will moving into the house next door in Oct, and I'm very excited.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
2.) Never be afraid of who you are. If you've managed to touch at least one person's life in a positive way, you've done something right.
3.) Just because you're family doesn't mean you have to be friends.
4.) The friends who really charish your friendship make time for you.
5.) Don't regret the past, it may help you with the future.
6.) Remember to smile.
7.) Cry when it hurts.
8.) Be thankful.
9.) Life is valuable. Everyone has a purpose.
10.)Pray. Someone is listening.
11.) Love. We all need it.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
10.) Taking Benadryl helps take away the head exploding feeling.
9.) Your luggage will weigh more at the end of the trip than it did in the beginning.
8.) Flying in lounging clothes is so much better.
7.) Jetlag does go away.
6.) Female pilots rock!
5.) Being in an isle seat is not neccessarily a good thing.
4.) Definately check the monitors at the airport for gate departures (apparently they change often).
3.) Little old men share awesome stories.
2.) I am most certain the woman sitting behind me on the opposite side of the plane had Swine Flu...okay maybe it was just a cold, but thank God for all the handy wipes I brought with me!
1.) You may see someone famous at the airport...I saw Kanye West! We were going through security at the same time. TV really does alter your apparence!
Monday, May 18, 2009
2.) Wednesday 5/13: Went to Schofield Army Post, Dole Plantation, and North Shore beach where I saw Sea Turtles.
3.) Thursday 5/14: Chilled out at "home," watched Lakeview Terrace (good movie!).
4.) Friday 5/15: Went to Ko'olina beach and saw a seal in the water! Then we went to dinner at the Dixie Grill and I had a mai Tai!
5.) Saturday 5/16: Celebrated Bailee's un-birthday at the bowling alley in Schofield. Met some of our Heros and their wives. Went to dinner at Haiwa Joes then walked along the shore and looked at the boats. Got home and watched Sam's Lake (I'd give this one only 1 star, it sucked!)
6.) Sunday 5/17: Went to the Pancake House for breakfast then went to the Swap Meet. This was the coolest place ever! I got a ton of things to bring back home. Then we did the hike at Manouah Falls. Went to Bubba Gumps (Forrest Gump's restaurant) at the outdoor mall and had a Blue Hawaiian.
7.) Monday 5/18: Going to a Lulua tonight! Yeah Baby.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
10.) Don't wear jeans on a 12 hr flight!
9.) Your head feels like it's going to explode on take off.
8.) You need to drink water, which consequently makes you pee and people get pissed when
you keep climbing over them!
7.) Never buy airport food, you'll go broke before you get to your destination!
6.) People don't follow the no cell phone rule until an attendant yells at them to turn them off!
5.) Talk to people, they have intersting stories (I made two friends, one of whom I will fly back
to Detroit with).
4.) Belts and watches will not pass through security.
3.) Gay flight attendants are frickin' awesome!
I don't want to pass on judgement on LA, but here goes...
2.) the airport looks like a mall and everyone seems to be over dressed
1.) There is definately tension between NY girls and LA girls! NY girls are classified
as true friends while LA girls are only friends with people who can do something
for them. I was also told that Californians are materialistic snobs!
I can't prove if this theory is true regarding Californians because I only know one and she doesn't fit the profile, but once you start talking about New York and California people offer their opinions and don't shut up!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
2 Corinthians 5:17 (New International Version)
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
Friday, May 1, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Some times I forget to look back to where God has brought me from. It is not by my own strength that I am where I am today. I realized that I've made some compromises in my walk and I refuse to let it happen again. I cannot hide who I am or doubt what I believe. I am reminded of Peter, who denied Jesus when it counted the most. However, Peter was redeemed and forgiven as am I. I will continue to stress that, "As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord!" ~Joshua 24:14
2.)The weather was fabulous, so I took Nehemiah, Raheem (my nephew), and my two nieces Irisa and Ashanti to the carnival. It was expensive, but the kids loved it! We met up with some family and had a blast. Nehemiah and I got to wear our summer clothes and I finally shaved my legs!
3.) Yesterday we had Sunday dinner at my parent's house and it was great as usual. There's nothing better than spending time with family. I am so blessed.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
I feel so incredibly blessed today and it's for the small things that I am ever so grateful for. I complain a lot about what I don't have, and I tend to forget the things I do have.
I have an amazing family whose love for me and Nehemiah often takes my breath away.
I have friends who lend me their strength when I feel too weak to make it on my own. Strong women who face fears with smiles on their faces.
Last, but definately not least, I have an amazing son who makes me look at life through an entirely different lens. A son who absolutely pleased with just sitting down in the bathtub each night playing with toys.
I may not have money to buy all the things that my heart desires (like a Coach bag), but I sure have a lot more than some people.
I have a lot of love in my life and that makes it all worth it.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
I'm totally freaking out about money right now especially because I leave for Hawaii in 27 days. I hate this so much! Excuse my self loathing, but I don't know what to do differently to fix my financial situation. I'm totally aware that if you keep doing the same things the same way, you get the same results. I wish I could snap my fingers and BAM, everything in my life seems to fall into place. I'm broke, I'm single, and I'm frickin' sick. Gosh am I to be envied!
Friday, April 3, 2009
Some possible good news, I may be moving into my neighbor and friend's home, which is next door. How cool is it that I wouldn't need a moving truck!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
~Went to get new undies at Vickie Secrets with my "goon" Nic (my girl fa life!)
~Celebrated Charlene's birthday at Nic's house on Sat (that was an interesting evening)
~Went to church on Sunday and got refreshed
~I've been getting up around 5am to have some time with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He is so good to me, where would I be without my Lord
~Nehemiah and I did the dishes together for the first time last night
~And the best...NEHEMIAH POOPED IN THE BATHTUB LAST NIGHT!!!!!