Last Wednesday Nehemiah had a very bad visit with his father. For the sake of time let's just say that Miah will not be visiting with his dad until further notice. I am extremely frustrated by this man's lack of common sense. He goes for months without so much as a phone call, then when he shows up, he thinks all is well. I made myself quite clear last week that he ruined the opportunity for further visits with Miah.
The hard part; reassuring a 2 1/2 year old that there is normality and consistency in his life. I sat Miah down and explained some things to him. I decided that no longer am I going to make excuses as to why he doesn't see daddy all the time. I told him that daddy loves him and I gave Miah the choice of deciding when he wants to spend time with daddy. When Miah decides he wants to see his dad it will be at our home and I will be there. I also told Miah that he can call daddy whenever he wants.
The part that hurts. Miah is worried that if he doesn't go to his dad's house he will "make daddy sad." My son shouldn't feel guilty about not wanting to go back to a place where he felt unsafe and afraid! This is what really gets me, since the incident last week his father has asked for another visit! The audacity of this man. What on earth would possibly give him the idea that he would ever have the option again to take Nehemiah for a visit! After talking to my parent's lawyer last week, I know that I have the right to deny all visitation that is not mutually agreed upon. Although I'm angry, I will continue to put Miah's best interest ahead of my feelings. When Miah is ready to see and talk to his father again, he will; under my terms.