Frustration

Last night I went to Target to get some basic things; toilet tissue, paper towels, shampoo, Pull-Ups, kitty litter and so on. I promised Miah that we would look for a drum for him to take to Church, and we were lucky to find one. He was so excited because the drum came with real sticks, a tambourine, and a harmonica. He needed a new pair of summer shoes so we got those too. He picked out these shoes all by himself. What a big boy.

My only splurge was a $16.99 slouchy hobo bag. I'm very particular about the types of bags I carry, and seeing that right now I cannot afford a name brand bag, this would have to do. I am very pleased with my purchase.

I also got the latest issue of Cosmo. I searched 2 other stores during my lunch break and they were both all sold out!. Because my mom is unemployed during the summer months, I also got her some basic household items as well. Mom was gracious and took Nehemiah out to the truck for me so I could pay.

When I progressed to the check out line, the woman in the next line was conversing with my cashier. She was stating how she dropped 3 pant sizes in a few short months! I was flabbergasted!

Being as bold as I am, I turned to her and asked her what she did to lose the weight and how is she keeping it off. She replied by saying that she runs each and everyday. She explained that she gained a ton of weight during her pregnancy and couldn't manage to take the weight off. Once she started running, the weight melted off and she is seeing amazing results.

I have been living a healthier lifestyle since June 1st and have lost 10lbs. I have not gained anymore weight, but I still have 20lbs to go before I get to my recommended/goal weight. I already felt like my weight loss was at a stand still before speaking to this woman, but the end of this brief conversation just made me extremely jealous.

To make matters worse, my bill totaled $220.00! Yikes. I knew it was going to be a lot because when the cashier rang up the 2 packs of Pull-Ups, diaper wipes, toilet tissue, and paper towels I had already spent nearly $100.00. After swiping my bank card, I gathered my bags and got into my truck where my mom and Nehemiah waited for me. I told mom what I had spent and she made a very good point. "You got what you needed. At least you didn't waste that amount of money on useless items from the mall!" I love my mom.

Now here's where my frustration comes in. I am a single mom who has to live pay check to pay check in order to survive. By the grace of God and with the help of supportive parents, Nehemiah has never had to go without the best of anything. I work full-time for a non-profit agency, so my salary is minimal. And as far as child support goes, ha that is a joke. The monthly court-ordered support is for a whole whopping $50.00! Yes, that's right $50.00. The last time I received support was in March.

I don't mean to complain, but household items and a few extras should not have to break my bank. I know life is not fair, but I don't appreciate when Miah's father comes to visit and has to insist on showing off his new IPhone. Or how about when I drive Miah to his father's house for a visit and he shows me his new flat screen! I'm not asking for these fancy things, just some help with the neccessities. Grrrrr. Any advice?