Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Almost Doesn’t Count


I haven't posted in awhile because I had to kick my butt into full gear for school. Of course this didn't happen until after I discovered that I had screwed up the deadline for a major course project. Typically all assignments are due on Saturday by midnight {remember I attend online}, but the course project was due on a Wednesday! Needless to say, I effed up big time.
By the time I realized I had effed up it was Friday, so I got busy writing my paper. However, my thoughts just couldn't come together. To be frank, the paper sucked. By the afternoon I had shut my computer down, and I started having a breakdown. Seriously, I broke down. I kept crying hysterically and wondering if maybe I had taken on too much. Being a single parent with Fibromyalgia and seizures leaves a lot on my plate. I know I wasn't being rational, but I had decided that I was quitting. There were only 1.5 weeks left in the course, but enough was enough. I was done. Why did I ever think I could go back to school and succeed at it? That thought made me form the conclusion that I was not only quitting the course; I was quitting school all together.
Prior to two years ago, all I ever wanted was to go back to school-and actually see it all the way through. I went to college right after high school, but two semesters prior to graduation I dropped out. I had decided I no longer wanted to be a teacher, and I was too invested in the school of love, or so I thought. I try not to live with regret, but this is one of the biggest regrets I carry around with me. And here I was again, ready to quit.
Luckily, I regained my common sense after talking with a very good friend of mine. Sometimes you just need to be reminded that you can succeed, and that quitting is not an option. I can't quit whenever life gets hard. If quitting were always an option, I wouldn't be half the mother I am today because let me tell you, parenting is one of the hardest things I have EVER done!
So, Saturday morning I woke up nice and early and began working on my paper. Now let me remind you, I could have lied to avoid losing points once I turned the paper in. But I didn't lie; I screwed up the due date, so I took my punishment like a champ. I lost 30 points for turning in the paper late, but the loss of those points taught me one very valuable lesson.
Pay attention to all freaking deadlines!
I start my next class tomorrow, and I can assure you that all due dates will be marked in my planner.


Have a great week, and always stay sweet!
T.

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