Saturday, February 27, 2010

Woe is Me

Last night, my legs felt like they were on fire. They hurt so incredibly bad. My mom spent the night to help me with Nehemiah; she's such a great mom. I woke up this morning without the leg pain, but I was still incredibly tired. I slept in until 9:30, and I feel like I never went to bed. I dreamt last that I was at a hospital telling the doctor all about the frustrations I have with living with Fibromyalgia. When I woke up, I was crying. I guess that I haven't really dealt with the fact that I have Fibromyalgia. I'm learning to deal with the pain and the limitations I face every day; I haven't dealt with the emotional side of having Fibromyalgia. I guess I'm feeling helpless because there's so much that I can't do. I get extremely aggravated because I can't get normal house work done; my mom has to do. This is because my hands and arms hurt so badly. My mom never complains about helping, but I feel like my restrictions are defeating me. After I cry and get upset, I calm down and realize that there are still a lot of things that I can do. I'm able to work each day, and I still can drive (unless my legs hurt). I saw a commercial yesterday that was for a Fibromyalgia website. The people on the commercial were in agony; some were crying. I got teary eyed watching because on certain days, I feel like those people. Learning to live with Fibromyalgia is more than pain management and diet changes; it's an emotional journey.

Today, Nehemiah has been very difficult. Maybe it's because I'm not feeling well and have a low tolerance, but his little attitude has been a bit much. I'm starting to understand what people mean when they say that age three is far worse than the terrible two's. He's so opinionated about everything, and when he gets upset he goes into a full-fledged tantrum. I mean the whole nine yards; jumping up and down, screaming at the top of his lungs, and of course tears. Today, he's decided to have a tantrum if I blinked at him the wrong way. He didn't take a nap, so he will be put to bed very early. Don't get me wrong, I love Nehemiah more than life itself; even when he is being a little monster.

This weekend, I have not had the chance yet to spend time with the man friend. He was going to come over last night, but the weather got really nasty. He was going to come over tonight, but you guess it; more snow and nasty weather. We're keeping our fingers crossed that the snow stops so he can come over tomorrow.

My english class will be finished on Monday, and then I began sociology. I can't believe how fast my classes are going (don't forget I take a new class every 7.5 weeks). I'm so proud of myself because I'm doing very well.

1 comment:

  1. i hope you are okay. come sit on my bed and we can hurt together.


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