Monday, August 31, 2009
1.) I will begin school next week; September 9th. This is such a big deal to me and it's still surreal that it is actually happening. I'm attending on-line and will be receiving my schedule via email sometime today. I received news last week that my financial aid left me owing over $4000. I was totally freaked and didn't know what to do. I tried taking out a loan, but it wasn't approved. With much prayer and supplication, I decided to attend part-time, which won't effect my financial aid as I had thought. I now have money left over for this semester and the winter and I will be graduating in 2012. This was suprising news because I didn't think I would be graduating until 2012 anyway, so it all worked out.
2.) I am giving my 30 day notice later on today or first thing tomorrow morning. I am going to be moving into the house next door and am so excited! My friend/landlord who I am going to be renting from gave me great news that she would buy the paint I picked out for the living room because she loved the color so much! That leaves me responsible for the paint in the dining room aka the toy room and for Nehemiah's room. Nehemiah is excited too because his room is going to be painted blue with lots of airplanes. I'm am dreading the whole packing things into boxes, but at least I don't have to rent a truck because I'm only going next door. I guess it's a good thing that I'm going to be out of work for awhile.
3.) My friend/landlord and I sat down last night and made out a budget for me. I was quite suprised that things worked out much easier than I had expected. I am learning how to spend responsibly so that I can start saving to possibly buy this house when it goes up for sale in about 2 years. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. I just have to learn how to really differentiate between a want and a need.
4.) I am continuing to have improvement with my leg and hip. I'm waiting to hear if my insurance is going to cover the MRI, so in the mean time I will be continuing physical therapy. I have been doing my daily strenthing exercises and they are getting easier each day. I will be out of work for about another month, but I found out last week that I am eligible for some disability so I will have some money that will be used for other expenses besides moving. I still can't drive, but my mom and dad have been so terrific with driving me where I need to go.
5.) I started reading a great book (another Nic recommendation) on spiritual guidance. It is really helping me realize that God truly believes in me. I've known this for awhile now, but have never actually had it explained. Reading this book each day has made me open my eyes to the fact that God has already given me everything I need to succeed in each area of my life right now. My life at this moment is exactly how it is supposed to be; including all the ups and downs and the many, many struggles that keep coming my way. I know now that I cannot fail! What a feeling!
6.) I have a big decision to make regarding Miah and daycare. To help me save money, I'm considering pulling Miah out of daycare and having my mom babysit each day. My mom has worked in child care for over 30 years and is quite excited about the possibility. She and I talked this morning and decided that if she does babysit him, she would take him to special play activities at the library each week so that he can still have interaction with other children. She said she would also do circle time and a craft with him, so that he is still learning as much as possible. I really like the daycare Nehemiah goes to; he has made great friends and has terrific teachers, so this is a hard decision. Let me know if you have any thoughts or suggestions.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
There is a certain someone (we shall call him "George") who has been in my life for 13 years, and will remain in my life for oh about another 16 years. "George" has been coming around a lot lately, and his help has been much appreciated. For the last few years, I have had on and off again love and anger toward this man. However, I've had to learn how to let go and accept that motherhood would continue with or without him. Have you figured out who "George" is yet?
Since he's been coming around, I noticed that there is no attraction to him anymore. No small flutters in my stomach, no anger that wants to shoot out, no hope that one day we would be together again. I have accepted that he and I will never be a couple again. I am well pleased with this discovery.
So, how did I respond when "George" decided to confess his undying love for me? I told him that I would always love him for two reasons and for those two reasons only. I explained that there would never be nothing more for the two of us. He was disappointed. I was relieved that finally I had spoken those words to him out loud.
I don't know if "George" meant everything he said to me, or if he was playing his usual games. Either way it goes, my heart has totally healed and I can now accept that some things that don't work out are truly for the best!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Last night I was in so much pain that I couldn't do anything but cry. I'm easily aggitated by everything, and yesterday I woke up with a serious case of post nasal drip that has not let up. I have been in tears a lot during the past few weeks and I still don't feel any better.
Since my parents and Miah's dad have been helping out so much with my parenting responsibilities, I'm starting to think that I'm not as good of a mom as I ought to be. I can't go out and play and I'm not supposed to be picking him up. I can't even hold him that long because I can't tolerate his weight on my leg. what kind of mom gets hurt and doesn't even know how it happened!
Miah has been throwing horrible tantrums and he even kicked me a few times. I'm convinced that my kid hates me! I think he's angry because everyone but me has been taking him to the park and outside to play. I can't even take or pick him up from school. There was a carnival over the weekend and my mom took him, which was great, but he told me that he was sad that I couldn't come. I totally feel like a slacker. Keep praying for me because I'm feeling defeated in many areas of my life right now
Monday, August 17, 2009
1.) Had a great time at the family reunion. Met lots of cousins and got to see relatives whom I haven't seen since childhood.
2.) Nehemiah did well with the car ride. He loved the hotel room, or maybe I should say he loved the beds in the hotel room because he got to jump on them.
3.) Here's the downer: On the car trip home, I some how managed to hurt my leg. Since last Sunday, I have had a swollen and painful left leg.
4.) I have had a Doppler test and so far, I don't have any blood cots.
5.) I had x-rays done on Friday and I'm still waiting for the results.
I'm on meds that totally make me unconscious. I haven't been able to work or drive in over a week. I'm in pain and I'm extremely stressed about this whole thing with my leg. Did I mention that I won't have a paycheck next week. To make things more difficult, I'm dealing with some family stuff that I have no control over. So much stuff has hit me all at once and frankly I'm feeling quite defeated. The weather has been fabulous and all I can do is hobble my way to the porch and watch Miah ride his bike.
Hopefully tomorrow the doctor will call me with the results of the x-rays. So until things with my leg get better I will remain at my parent's house on the couch watching daytime television. Please keep me in your prayers.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
1.) Went to a new consignment shop, which happens to be just a few blocks away from my house. It's a bit small, but is filled with lots of nostalgia. I discovered an awesome ring for $5.00!
2.) Finished disc 1 for Gossip Girl season 1 (disc 2 should be here Tuesday). So glad Serena and Blair are friends. Hope they stay that way...be sure not to ruin it for me by giving it away!
1.) Worked at the 4H Fair for a few hours. Learned a lot about emergency preparedness. Hope everyone has an emergency kit at home and in the car! It's super important, especially if you have children or animals.
2.) Went to Lisa's for dinner.
Had great Riesling White wine and enjoyed some steak.
3.) Got the chance to watch Legally Blonde while Nehemiah played with Raheem, Jake and Claire.
4.)Finally got to talk to Nicole, who is now officially my Georgia Peach. Although she's only been gone a week, it feels much longer.
5.) Received the long awaited notice regarding my loans. This means that I will finally find out what type of Financial Aid package I will be receiving. I was getting a bit anxious because school starts in a month.
1.) Went to church. Nehemiah brought his drum with him and had a great time playing it during worship! He especially loved playing while I sang with the choir.
2.) I woke up not feeling too great, so Nehemiah and I napped together after church.
2.) Read some more of ...
It's such a great book (thanks for recommending it Nic). I'm hoping to finish it this week.
Not a lot of excitement over the weekend, but that was more than welcomed. It was nice to have the chance to rest; this coming up weekend we will be driving to Ohio for a family reunion.