Wednesday, January 26, 2011
From the Desk of the Broken Hearted
It's been a long time since the last time I blogged. Actually, I think it was in September. Back then I had to stop blogging because of the non-epileptic seizures, which I was having regularly. I went 10 weeks without a seizure, and then last Monday I broke my winning streak. I still feel the effects of the Fibromyalgia, but not as much as I used to. Nehemiah is now four, and handsome as ever! He loves school, and yes I'm still battling his sleeping habits. I'm still in school, and with the seizures I managed to pull off a 3.0 last semester! Not too shabby.
So, why a new blog you ask. I loved my thinkpink247 blog, but it was time to say goodbye. I left 2010 behind me seeing that it was such a difficult year, and unfortunately that meant that I needed to leave thinkpink247 in the past as well. I also didn't export thinkpink247 to this blog, so all my past posts are gone, but it's ok. I now have the chance to really start all over with this blog. So basically it was out with the old, and in with the new.
In October, 2010 I managed to fall in love. However, due to the distance issues the relationship didn't last. In fact, it ended on Saturday. It came as a total surprise, and my heart is heavy and broken. What makes it worse is that he didn't do anything wrong. He tried to look out for my best interest, as well as his own. If he would have cheated on me, or done some horrible thing then maybe this would be easier-I could hate him. But I don't hate him; I still love him-a lot. And this is what makes this breakup so horrific. I don't want to find anyone new. I want to be with him. I had to end all ties with him in order for me to function. I can't hold onto the hope that maybe we'll be back together; I won't be able to move on with my life.
I'm healing, and this process is never easy. I really believe that when we women love, we love hard. We love with our mind, heart, soul, and body. Our whole existence falls in love, which means that it has to fall out of love as well. It's a step-by-step ordeal. Will I ever fall in love again? Most definitely, I wear my heart on my sleeve. Will it be anytime soon? Most definitely not.