Thursday, March 25, 2010

Thirty Things

Good morning dear friends.  I learned that my body definitely does much better with a lot of sleep because I got my 9 hours last night, and I feel terrific.  Nehemiah had a great night and a fabulous morning. Before leaving for work, I jumped up and down while clapping and yelling, "way to go Miah!"  Then I gave him a high-five, and told him how proud I am that he has been using his listening ears and speaking kind words. 

He was so happy this morning, and of course he told Nana; she gave him 2 high-fives! 
Sometimes we focus on the unwanted behavior so much, that we forget to praise the wanted behavior.  I love making a big deal out of the small things because Nehemiah needs praise just as much as he needs correction.

I opted out of going for a walk yesterday because my legs were hurting and cramping.  I feel great today and would love to go walking, but guess what, it's raining.  I so need a treadmill, gym membership, or a Wii; all of which are not in the budget any time soon! 

After my meltdown the other night over my up and coming ten year high school reunion, which symbolizes how close I really am to being 30, I decided to do something fun with 30. 
So, here are 30 things about me that you may not have known.

30.) I love handbags.

29.) I cry over touching commercials.

28.) I adore the Golden Girls.

27.) I want to travel to London and Paris.

26.) I have been best friends with my nearest and dearest since 1st grade.

25.) I hate sports.

24.) I was a football cheerleader in high school.

23.) I just recently learned how to cook.

22.) I love makeup.

21.) I'm obsessed with all things Clinique.

20.) I love dancing in my undies in front of the bathroom mirror.

19.) I have 15 nieces and nephews.

18.) I'm afraid of thunderstorms.

17.) My three favorite colors are pink, green, and brown.

16.) I hate chocolate cake.

15.) I'm very acident prone {don't believe me; a few weeks ago, I fell into the bathtub while cleaning it!}

14.) I love laughing.

13.) Fall is my favorite season.

12.) I've lived in the same town/city my whole life.

11.) I've never been married.

10.) I hate cleaning.

9.) I can't eat certain meat because I visualize the animal in head {ex, veal equals a calf and her mama, deer equals Bambi}.

8.) In my dream job, I would be writing children's books.

7.) I bite my nails.

6.) I like folk music.

5.) I love collecting pictures out of magazines and glueing them in a journal.

4.) I live in pajamas {only at home of course}.

3.) I can't stomach looking at raw meat {especially chicken}.

2.) I love ketchup, but hate the way it smells.

1.) I have a mixture of both Irish and Native American ancestors.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


Can I just say that my legs hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt! Today's a bad day; my legs are not only achy, they are throbbing with pain. However, there is some light in all this darkness; I am still able to function. Once upon a time ago, I would have been home in bed all day. I'm up and at 'em this morning {I even got to work early}. To make it worse, I forgot to take my sleeping pill last night, so I only slept for about 4 solid hours. I'm tired, but I'm not more tired than usual. Could it be possible that I'm sleeping too much? I usually get between 9 and 9.5 hours of sleep a night. Let's remember, I rarely feel rested, so I have no way of determining the impact of getting more or less sleep. I didn't get a workout in this morning because of my legs, but at least I got up on time. When I get home this afternoon, I have a date with my couch for a quick nap {hopefully}.

You're all probably wondering how Nehemiah handled bedtime last night. Well, I am thrilled to report that my boy did me proud! Yep, in his bed all night! He had a very rough evening while we were at Nana's {hitting, pinching, and using mean words}, so when we got home, Nehemiah was not allowed to have any TV {I know, how dare I take away Tom and Jerry}. The funny thing is Nehemiah didn't put up as much of a fight as usual. There was no TV to keep him occupied, so he didn't protest about going up to bed. Lesson learned; shut off the TV about 30 min before bedtime!

As I mentioned yesterday, it has been cold and rainy outside for the past few days. Well, guess what it did last night; it snowed! I thought I was going to be sick when I opened my door {my nephew set off my car alarm-on purpose may I add} and saw that yucky white stuff falling. How dare snow try to sneak up on us again! Thank God it was all melted by this morning. My SUV was not very happy either, seeing that ice covered the windows this morning. The sun is now shining, and overall it should be a good day. I would love to go for a walk after work, but I have to see how my legs are feeling.


You all know that I am dreading the fact that I will be 30 in a few years. 30 has so many connotations to it, and it freaks me out. Frankly, I don't have it all figured out {I barely make it through each day with my head on straight}, and I seriously doubt that I will by 30. I love watching 13 Going on 30, but I am not by any means counting down the days until I will be, "thirty, flirty and thriving," {that's a mouth full}. Well, let me tell you what threw me over the edge last night. I checked face*book, and noticed that I had an invite to an event. The event; planning our ten year high school reunion! Ten year reunion, how can that be? That means that 30 is creeping up on me faster than I thought! I'm going to blink, and before you know it, BAM, I will need Botox. And did I mention that I found under eye wrinkles-wrinkles! The man friend thought my freaking out was hilarious {dramatic; of course, hilarious; definitely not}. So, I took a look at my fellow classmate's profile pics, and I can't believe that we are grownups! You couldn't pay me to do high school again {well, okay maybe}, but has it already been ten years since I walked across that stage to claim my hard earned diploma? Geesh!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The Mommy Meltdown

The temperature has dropped into the 30's again, and it's raining. So, it's dark and cold, and I'm tired. I am having the hardest time waking up in the morning. I would like to be up at 6 am so that I can get in a workout, but I usually end up sleeping until 7. Tonight, I'm going to try setting my alarm for 5, so that way if I keep hitting the snooze button, I should wake up by 6. Brilliant, yes I know. I had a great weekend. No flare ups! I worked my butt off on homework (which I'm swamped with this week too), and spent time with Nehemiah and the family. Nothing too exciting to report, but that's just fine by me. Oh wait, this is exciting; I have a 98 average in Sociology. I'm working hard to keep it up!

I do have some bad news to report. Nehemiah has spent the last 4 nights in bed with me. Now, I'm so tired at night, that I have been falling right asleep, and I've been staying asleep. Last night, I remember telling Nehemiah to go back to his room, but then I immediately fell back asleep. I woke up this morning, and there he was. Here's how the conversation went,

Me: "Nehemiah, why are you in my bed?"

Nehemiah: "Because I didn't listen to you when you told me to go back in my room. You went back to sleep, and I got in your bed. Maybe you should just put my bed in your room, or let me sleep in here again."

Smart little booger isn't he? So, here's my plan of action: continue to put the gate up at his doorway (he screamed at the top of his lungs the other night until I got up and took it down), slightly close my door (enough so that if he peeks his head out over the gate, he will think the door is closed), and pray that I keep my sanity. Now, the children in my family tend to not sleep in their own beds or in their own rooms, so Nehemiah and I are making a statement. One that says, "I'm the mom, and I'm not a pushover!" I have a fabulous relationship with my pediatrician, so I think I may give her a call this afternoon. I got over the fears I had about Nehemiah sleeping in his own room, and I now love having my bed to myself. When Nehemiah gives me grief about going to bed, it throws our whole night way off. He gets to bed late, so he wakes up cranky, and I don't get my much needed alone time. Someone help me pleeeeaaaassss!


So, how about I had a major mommy meltdown Sunday morning before church. I got some new clothes back in January (super cute stuff that was like 70% off), and I haven't worn all of them yet. I didn't try the clothes on when I purchased them because everything was in my size. Sunday morning, I tried on this little denim jacket I bought, and guess what: IT DIDN'T FIT. I thought my mom was going to have to come and cut it off me (and I am not saying this so that you can get a laugh)! I tried on something different, thinking, okay no big deal. WRONG. The next shirt I tried on also didn't fit. I totally lost it! I screamed some obscenities (Nehemiah was not in hearing distance of course), cried (literally) that I was fat, shouted at my boobs for being too big, and then ripped through my closet to find something that did fit. Needless to say, we were late for church, but I did complements on the outfit I put together.

I don't obsess about weighing myself, but of course I got on the scale immediately after church. I have maintained my weight, so I don't know what the problem is. Now, I'm freaking out and obsessing about my weight. I still want to lose 30 more pounds, but I have been at a standstill. I announced to my mother that I will lose the rest of this weight very soon! I'm going to continue to do whatever it takes. I will keep you all up to date on how my progress is going. I'm ready for this challenge!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Winter Favorites

Spring is here, and I am so happy. Hopefully spring means no more snow, ice covered vehicles, wet pant bottoms, and cold nights. I am ready for flip flops, pedicures, and capris. Nehemiah is enjoying the park once again and going for walks to find secret treasures. We are very excited to be welcoming spring.

My good friend D, over at Design Your Life had a great post today on winter favorites. So reminisce with me down winter memory lane, as you take a look at a few of my favorite things. I had pictures posted, but for some reason, they would not show up. Sorry.

Favorite Memory:

  1. My favorite winter memory is when Nehemiah and I watched the first snow fall of the year. It was in the evening, the sun was setting and the air smelled so clean. I held Nehemiah as we looked out the window and enjoyed the tiny snowflakes. The serenity on Nehemiah's face was priceless.

Favorite Song:

  1. Breakdown, by Jack Johnson. Love the lyrics to this song! Ever feel like a song was written just for you? That's how I feel whenever I listen to this song.
  2. Come Away with Me, by Norah Jones. Very melodic and relaxing.
  3. Need You to Love Me, by Barlow Girl. By far, my favorite song. This song reminds me that no matter what I've done, I don't have to hide my face from Jesus.

Favorite TV Show:

  1. Project Runway (fabulous)
  2. Glee (hilarious)
  3. Golden Girls-I know, I need help!

Favorite Food {Out}:

  1. Stuffed Chicken Marcela, from the Olive Garden. Yummy.

Favorite Food {Home}:

  1. Broccoli and pasta with parmesan cheese. It's super easy to make, and it's quick. Nehemiah loves it!

Favorite Purchase:

  1. My Hyundai Santé Fe. Love my SUV. We get a ton of snow where I live, so 4-wheel drive is a must.

    2.) My Gateway laptop. I didn't want to spend the money, but it makes online education so much easier.

3.) My new Smartphone. I absolutely love it. I got a really great deal on the phone, so I couldn't resist.

Favorite Drink:

  1. French vanilla cappuccino from Tim Horton's. This gets me going on those cold winter mornings.

I Couldn't Live Without:

  1. Clinique Vitamin C Lip Smoothie in Rhubarbie. This stuff keeps my lips hydrated against the tough winter wind.

Favorite Winter Event:

  1. Decorating the house for Christmas. I love how warm and cozy the house gets during this time of year.

So, here is my list dear friends. I'm interested in your favorite things, so don't forget to share!

Happy Spring!

Friday, March 19, 2010

It’s Friday Baby

It's Friday (like you didn't know that already), and words can't begin to tell you how happy this makes me. I'm so sleepy, and I have so much homework to do. And no, I didn't wait until the last minute; we had a lot of stuff due this week. Give me some credit people. I have gone to bed at 9 pm for the last two nights, and I'm still so tired. Maybe if I didn't sleep so much I could have a social life. Oh wait; I don't have a social life because I'm continuing my education. Trying to keep your eye on the prize isn't always easy. On the bright side, I'm not becoming achy until nighttime. This is a good thing.

Well, Nehemiah didn't have such a good night. He kept getting out of bed and I was so tired, that I just let him sleep in my bed. I know, I know; I caved. My legs were killing me (excuse), and I was so tired (another excuse) that I just wanted to sleep. When Nehemiah woke up this morning, he told me that he knows he will have to sleep in his room tonight. My 7-year-old nephew has been telling Nehemiah that something scary is going to come out of his closet and get him! It suffices to say that my nephew won't be saying that shiggity again.

The weather has been so great in my neck of the woods. We have gone outside every day this week (except Monday), and the fresh air feels so good. I even got to open up the moon roof on my SUV yesterday, and the day before (yeah, I thought I was the junk, but so what). The sun is still shining, so maybe I can get a walk in tonight. My 15 –year-old nephew is spending the weekend at my house, and I'm looking forward to having him around (he and I are very close; he calls me his best friend). And in case you were wondering, I have a total of 15 nieces and nephews! My one sister has 10 kids, and the other has 5! I have 1 kid, and that's just fine by me.

Well it's time for me to go open up my moon roof home, so adios.

Have a great weekend and enjoy the sunshine!!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Another Random Moment

Let me start off by saying that today is an absolutely gorgeous day! The warm weather is sticking around and the sun is out shining again today. This makes for a happy day, although I am drop dead tired! I'm hoping to get to bed early tonight because I have to be at the office very early tomorrow. I have a very important staff meeting in the morning, so I need to be on my game. My body is really having a difficult time adjusting to the time change. It already demands more sleep, so I feel like I'm starting all over again with learning how to control the fatigue. I'm all about spring, but the rain is a different story. I hate rain; thunderstorms (they scare me), mud (gets all over everything), and dark skies (I need sun remember). Not to mention how the rain makes me feel; blah. Now, I love the sound of rain just as much as the next person, but I would prefer it at night (without the thunder and lightning of course), and gone by the morning! That would suit me just fine.

I have terrific news; Nehemiah slept in his room all night long! I had to put the nightlight back in his room, and….I had to be a meany and put the gate up. He was so angry about the gate (he yelled at Miss Cinnamon like it was her fault), but he fell asleep shortly after. He was still asleep when I got up this morning! When I saw his handsome face once he woke up, he was wearing the biggest smile. "I slept in my room all night," was the first thing he said to me. According to Nana, Nehemiah is having an excellent day. See what a good night's rest can do!


Now onto the thinkpink247 random moment. Have you ever heard a song on the radio that made you turn up your nose because of the lyrics? I love music and you can see from my sidebar that I like a wide variety of sounds. On my way home from the office yesterday, I heard a song about a sponsor. The chic was singing about how her sponsor pays her rent and puts money in her bank account and crap like that. Let me say that when I hear the word "sponsor," I think about the people you give money to because they are doing something like running a race for a good cause. When I heard this song, I came up with the image of an old nasty rich guy buying stuff for this girl. I don't even want to know what the girl had to do to keep her sponsor. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but whatever happened to women being empowered all on their own? Would I like to have someone pay my bills, of course (it would make life much easier for sure), but I don't like the idea of being dependent on someone else. Especially not being dependent on some guy who I don't even love. I have always held the theory that I can do whatever needs to be done on my own. It may take me a little longer and it may wear me out, but in the end I can say that I did it on my own. That's such a good feeling.

There are so many stupid song lyrics, and this sponsor song is definitely going on the list!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


This whole losing an hour of time is really killing me! I woke up late this morning (that's nothing usual, but for the sake of this post, I decided to blame it on the time change), and had to rush to the office. This always makes for a disaster. Luckily, I didn't forget anything important and I made it to work safely. My legs feel better today, and call me crazy (wouldn't be the first time), but I really do feel better when the sun is shining. I read that sunshine is good for treating Fibromyalgia and so far this theory seems to be true. My fingers are crossed that we continue to have the nice weather the forecast is calling for.

I learned a life lesson last night. Don't let your kid watch Goosebumps before bed or else he will be scared and will have to sleep in your bed! This seems like a no brainer, except Nehemiah likes Goosebumps! Scary things on television usually don't scare him, so I'm not sure if he was actually afraid or just putting on like he was! And yes, he's smart enough to pretend to be scared. Anything to get out of sleeping in his own bed. We watched Goosebumps earlier in the evening, so I'm not sure what his problem was. He has been more feisty than usual these past few days. No changes have taken place, so I'm not really sure what's been going on. Maybe he's just being 3!

So, I have a few dilemmas. First, since I started taking the Fibromyalgia medication I have noticed that my face is breaking out. I have never had a problem with acne in the past, and I really don't want to start dealing with it at 28! I use the Clinique three step kit (cleanser, astringent, and moisturizer) and it works really well. However, I'm noticing that my checks are breaking out with little red bumps. I guess if I have to choose between pain and acne, I will definitely choose the acne. And my second dilemma isn't really a dilemma per say, it's more of a question; how do you know if you're falling in love? Now put the brakes on, I'm just asking a hypothetical question here, so don't get any ideas about me and the man friend just yet. I just like hearing stories of how people knew they were in love, that's all-I pinky swear!

Please share your stories with me, and let me know what you use on your skin.



Monday, March 15, 2010

My Life As I Know It

So, here we are once more; Monday. I guess I can't complain too much seeing that the day is almost finished. I started having a flare up last week, and by Friday it had gotten noticeably worse. By yesterday afternoon, I was convinced that my legs were going to fall off! The pain is slowly going away, but I'm still swollen. Yes, my legs swell when I'm having a terrible flare up (I get sick to my stomach too). I used a sick day today, so I have been in bed most of the day. I'm still not feeling 100%, but I'm better than I was this morning. Its days like these that make me angry and cranky. I like to be in control remember, so when I can't get things done, I tend to become miserable. And can you guess what needs to be done; laundry and dishes. The rest of the house isn't too bad, so I'll manage-I think.

Nehemiah had a lovely weekend. He was so disappointed that we couldn't go outside because of the rain, so I had to find ways to keep him busy inside. Yesterday, I babysat my friend's son, so Nehemiah was quite excited to have a playmate over. Nehemiah and I are having a reoccurring problem however; he keeps getting into my bed at night. He doesn't want the gate up at his bedroom door, but he won't stay in his bed. He has stopped waking me up to ask if he may get into my bed, so I don't often know he's in there until I hear, "move over, you're on my leeeeegggggg." Then he scares me half to death because he's screaming! It's a vicious cycle. We've come so far with the whole sleeping in his bed thing, so I don't want to give this up. I perhaps may just have to deal with the screams tonight as I attempt to put the gate up. At least we both will get a good night's rest-I hope.

Thanks for the comments and prayers that were sent my way over the weekend. I really needed it. I didn't get the chance to visit the cemetery because of the rain, but it was probably better that I didn't. As I mentioned, my plate is extremely full at the moment, so please keep the prayers coming. I recently got a letter in the mail from a good friend of mine, asking how I manage to keep everything together as a single mom. This question absolutely stumped me because I am far from having everything together! I often finish each day without my head being screwed on straight, but here's what I have learned to do to get through each day,

  1. Accept that I can only accomplish so much in one day (not an easy thing and it takes much practice)
  2. Make special time for Nehemiah everyday (this usually happens in the evening after dinner)
  3. Pray (how else would I keep my sanity)
  4. Prioritize (difficult to do when everything seems important)
  5. Allow myself to have some quiet time (this is still new, but I do like it)
  6. Cry (who says we're too old for a good tear or two)
  7. Separate work from my personal life (when I leave the office, I don't bring it home with me)
  8. Let home be my place of peace (this is crucial)

So dear friends, those are just a few things that help me get through the day. Now, if you ask me what I find most frustrating about being a single parent, well that in itself would be a very long post. I do know one thing's for sure, I wouldn't ask for my life to be any different. Although I may complain, I know that things could be much, much worse. Motherhood has brought such a sense of purpose to my life that I couldn't image it any other way. I love Nehemiah more than I could ever try to express, and on most days, he feels the same way (I hope). If I didn't have my son, I wouldn't have a reason to fight through the pain and difficulties that life unfortunately guarantees. Can you tell that I love being a mommy!

Well dear friends, I must say good evening and go back to studying. Feel free to share with me how you keep it all together!

Have a great week.

Saturday, March 13, 2010


This morning I awoke with a pit in the bottom of my stomach. Today is the hardest day of the year for me and my family. Four years ago today, God called my Grammy home. I was very close with Grammy Louise; as a child and as an adult. She was the woman I wanted to be; strong, loving, caring, and devoted. Devotion doesn't even describe the relationship she and God had. Throughout my entire life, Grammy was consistent in her Christian walk. Whenever anyone had a problem they would call my Grammy; she was a prayer warrior. I will never forget the day I got the phone call at work; the call that said Grammy had gone home to be with Jesus. I know being home with Jesus was supposed to be comforting, but at the time, all I could feel was pain. And this pain has left a piece of me empty.

Today will be a challenge. I didn't sleep well, so I'm very fatigued. It's cloudy and raining outside, and I just feel plain blah. I'm dealing with some other issues at the moment, so these emotions of sadness and emptiness are raw. I will take time out to go visit Grammy's resting place. I will pour out my heart to her and fill her in on my life. I will cry and come undone. I will pray.

When I return home, I will be much better. Then next year will come and I'll do it all over again.

I love you Grammy!

2 Corinthians 12:9

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

Encourage my soul, and let us journey on

For the night is dark, and I am far from home

Thanks be to God, the morning light appears

The storm is passing over, the storm is passing over, the storm is passing over


Thursday, March 11, 2010

Unapologetic Me

I did not post the last few days because I have not been feeling well. Actually, I was feeling terrible (I hate being a woman sometimes), but I'm proud to report that I'm much better today. On Tuesday, I finally tried out the yoga kit that my mom got for me. I was highly disappointed. The DVD was not what I was expecting, but at least I now have the stretch band and the yoga ball. Seeing that I couldn't use the DVD, I decided to do some hard core stretching. It felt so good to my arms and legs! I did realize that my left leg is not strong enough for any running at the moment. This leg is the one that gives me the most trouble, so I think I need to work on making it stronger. I'm okay with this. I can start walking and eventually begin running. I'm a little sore from the stretching, but it's a good feeling!

Nehemiah is growing like a weed! It looks I will be shopping for more clothes sooner than I expected. On May 12, 2006 I found out I was pregnant. I immediately began calling the baby NuNu. Obviously I didn't know if NuNu was a boy or a girl, but the nickname just felt right. Needless to say, the nickname stuck, so we still call Nehemiah NuNu. The other morning my NuNu looked at me and said, "Mama (my heart melts whenever he calls me this), I only want to be called Nehemiah or Miah. No more NuNu cause I'm a big boy now." He did mention that Nana however could still call him NuNu! I hope that Nehemiah and Nana are still very close when he's older. I will respect Nehemiah's wishes and no longer call him NuNu.

Things with the man friend are going well, and I'm very happy. School is good, but its keeping me so busy this session. I'm taking Sociology and I absolutely love it. I have decided to get my Master's Degree in Human Relations. Human relations is the ability to work through and with others in an organization; something all managers should know how to do. I'm still not 100 % sure what I want to be when I grow up because the options are endless. I am glad that I made the choice to become a business major. I will be working on my bachelor's degree for 2 more years, but why stop there right?


Taking this Sociology class has taught me a lot about myself. For the past few years, my friend Nic has been telling me that I need to be unapologetic about my life and my choices. I have always considered what people would think about me if I did this or that. These thoughts kept me from doing things that could have made my life and Nehemiah's life much easier. No more will this be the case.

I will no longer apologize for doing whatever is necessary for Nehemiah and me to live our best lives. I will not apologize for what I believe in, for doing things that make me happy, or for any decision I make regarding my child. No more getting approval for living life the way I'm entitled to live it. I'm a grown woman and it's about time that I start putting my needs ahead of those around me. My needs have taken the back burner for so long that I began to feel like I didn't matter. Not anymore. My self-esteem issues stemmed from this, and you know what, I've come a long way, and taking care of me feels good. It makes me feel good, and when I'm happy it shows. I'm not afraid to be my real self anymore. So dear friends, this is me and my life, so you can either take it or leave it. When it comes down to it, you're either on my team or you're not.


Monday, March 8, 2010

Weekend Re-Cap

I will never understand how Monday manages to arrive so quickly each week, but here we are again. This weekend was very productive and I got a lot accomplished. On Saturday, I spent the day doing homework, and then we went to Lisa's for our Saturday night dinner. Yesterday, we went to church, and then I went grocery shopping. Grocery shopping is very difficult because my legs usually hurt, but yesterday my legs did fairly well; I thought. When I woke up this morning, my legs were feeling the strain of yesterday's trip to the grocery store. I feel rested (yayJ), so I am definitely making improvements. Hopefully my legs will get better as the day progresses.

Nehemiah had a great weekend as well. A couple of my nieces and nephews came over to play, so he had a lot of fun. Nehemiah finally started playing the drums again at church; he took a sabbatical because some of the other children ruined his drum set. I was going to get pictures of him playing, but I figured I would be drawing unwanted attention to myself. Nehemiah didn't take a nap yesterday, and he had a really hard time going down for bed last night. This morning he was whining and crying anytime he didn't get his way. When it was time for me to take him over to Nana's, he flipped out because he wanted to play outside in the snow. The snow is melting, so really he wanted to play in the mud. When he has such a rough morning, I feel awful leaving him. At least he gets some love and attention from Nana, so I know he will be okay. I think he and I will do something special when I get home.

Over the weekend, I did some research on running. As you know, I really want to start running. Now that spring is making its way to Western New York, I want to get outside just as much as Nehemiah wants to! I need to begin walking first, then gradually work my way into running. Now, here's my dilemma; will my legs prevent me from walking and running? I was determined to get outside and walk yesterday, but grocery shopping took a toll on me, so I couldn't get outside.

If my body prevents me from exercising, how am I ever supposed to reach my weight loss goals?

Friday, March 5, 2010

Have a Great Weekend

I have a ton of homework and studying to do this weekend, so I won't be posting on Saturday or Sunday. On Wednesday, I started my second class of the session and it looks like it's going to be challenging. So dear friends, have a great weekend and enjoy the sunshine (if you're fortunate to have some). See ya Monday!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Wide-Eyed and Rested

Dear friends, I have some exciting news…I woke up this morning with almost no pain! My joints are a bit stiff, but otherwise I feel great. I also feel really rested, and I noticed that this is starting to happen more frequently. I'm beginning to feel normal; something I definitely do not know much about. I think I also figured out why I usually have flare ups on the weekend. I stress so much about getting things done on the weekend. You know things like the laundry, cleaning, and homework. I want everything done bright and early on Saturday, so that the rest of the day (and Sunday) is left for Nehemiah. After watching me freak out for the past few weekends, a little birdie whispered in my ear (thanks mom); relax.

Relax, what does that word mean? I don't relax; I'm always in go mode. How am I supposed to find time to relax? I've tried doing bits and pieces of housework during the week; doesn't work because I'm fatigued after working all day. So, this is what mom and I decided. We will split the housework. If I'm feeling overwhelmed (which is often), mom will do the things I can't handle. I have a difficult time doing the dishes because my hands and legs hurt, so mom has been taking care of the kitchen and the vacuuming. Guess what dear friends; two nights ago I did the dishes! And guess what I did before that; went outside and played in the snow with Nehemiah and my nephew. It was so great! Mom and I decided to take turns with dinner as well, and I kept up my end of the deal because so far, I cooked dinner two nights this week!

These triumphs may not seem at all significant; and if you feel that way then perhaps you should move on to the next blog. As I mentioned before, I need support and encouragement. I seem to be getting a lot of both and it means so much to me. Thank you dear friends! No one understands the struggle that each day brings. I have to make a conscious decision literally each morning to just get out of bed. It would be so much easier to just stay in bed and hurt, but the show must go on. It has to or else I'm letting the Fibromyalgia defeat me. I am too strong for that! Thank you for the prayers and good thoughts, and of course I am grateful to my Lord and Savior for listening!

I'm still having some trouble following my food restrictions. Okay, I haven't been following the restrictions as I should be, but this is really hard. I am having the most trouble finding breakfast foods that I can eat. It's hard for me to eat breakfast at home because I don't get up at the same time each morning. If I feel rested, then I'm up and at 'em at 6. If I'm fatigued, then it's back to bed until 7. This means that I usually grab something on my way to the office. This is bad for numerous reasons; I'm not supposed to have fast food (even breakfast foods), I usually can't find anything nutritious, and I'm spending way too much money. So if someone can offer some suggestions I would most appreciate it. I still haven't found the right time to try out the yoga kit my mom got me, but I'm being hopeful that I can at least open the box this weekend.

The last piece of good news goes a little something like this…I got an email from a volunteer of the National Fibromyalgia Association . The volunteer has been following my blog for awhile, and she would like me to post info about the NFA magazine. The magazine is now available online for free! The volunteer also said she really enjoys my blog (blush). I'm so very excited that people are reading my blog. So, if you're reading please remember to become a follower!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Money Doesn’t Grow On Trees; At Least Not In My Backyard

This morning, I woke up tired and cranky. I slept well, and Nehemiah slept well (in his own bed of course), but something is just very off today. I'm starting to stress about the usual things: school, work, money, money, money, money. Did I mention that I was stressed about money? Let me rephrase that, I'm worried about the lack of money. I'm the woman who is literally holding it all down; by herself. Sometimes things just get to me; the weight of the world is a lot to bear on a daily basis, and when I think I get ahead, I somehow end up taking 3 steps back. Ah, this is so aggravating. There are no fairy godmothers to wave a magic wand, there is no sugar daddy that pays my bills (the thought of that is sounding kinda nice thoughJ), and there is no child support. It's just me, myself, and I.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining; Nehemiah and I are definitely not living in the poor house (perhaps my checkbook would beg to differ), but is there something wrong with wanting more than just what's required to get by? Maybe I'm being over indulgent, or selfish, but just getting by is starting to be very overrated. What am I to do?

Monday, March 1, 2010

It's a Happy Monday

After a weekend full of pain and frustration, I actually woke up this morning at 5am; feeling rested and virtually pain free (thank you Jesus!). I couldn't decide what I should do with the extra hour I had before getting ready for work; start laundry, do the dishes, clean the living room, put some laundry away, do some yoga, pray. I decided to lie in bed and pray. There is so much stuff going on not just in my life, but in the lives of those who I care about and love. After praying for an hour, I felt refreshed. This was exactly what I needed to start my day.
So, if I told you that I would be praying for you; I did!

Another reason I slept so well is because Nehemiah did not wake up until 6:30! This was fabulous because he didn't stand at his door in the middle of the night screaming for me to come and get him. When I went upstairs to take the gate down, he decided that we were going to play hide-and-seek. I went in his room and pretended that I couldn't find him. I looked behind his door and he reached his little arms out and yelled, "Boo, I got you mommy!" He had the biggest smile on his face. He hugged me tightly and said, "Mommy, I'm so proud of myself. I slept in my room all night!" He couldn't wait to go tell Miss Cinnamon and of course Nana!

The other night, Nehemiah crawled on my lap and told me that he would buy me a ring and marry me because he loves me so, so, so very much!
It's moments like these that make all the bad days disappear.
Make sure to share your happy Monday stories with me, and remember;
there's a bit of happiness in each day; we just have to be willing to find it.

Happy Monday Everyone!


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