Monday, March 15, 2010

My Life As I Know It

So, here we are once more; Monday. I guess I can't complain too much seeing that the day is almost finished. I started having a flare up last week, and by Friday it had gotten noticeably worse. By yesterday afternoon, I was convinced that my legs were going to fall off! The pain is slowly going away, but I'm still swollen. Yes, my legs swell when I'm having a terrible flare up (I get sick to my stomach too). I used a sick day today, so I have been in bed most of the day. I'm still not feeling 100%, but I'm better than I was this morning. Its days like these that make me angry and cranky. I like to be in control remember, so when I can't get things done, I tend to become miserable. And can you guess what needs to be done; laundry and dishes. The rest of the house isn't too bad, so I'll manage-I think.

Nehemiah had a lovely weekend. He was so disappointed that we couldn't go outside because of the rain, so I had to find ways to keep him busy inside. Yesterday, I babysat my friend's son, so Nehemiah was quite excited to have a playmate over. Nehemiah and I are having a reoccurring problem however; he keeps getting into my bed at night. He doesn't want the gate up at his bedroom door, but he won't stay in his bed. He has stopped waking me up to ask if he may get into my bed, so I don't often know he's in there until I hear, "move over, you're on my leeeeegggggg." Then he scares me half to death because he's screaming! It's a vicious cycle. We've come so far with the whole sleeping in his bed thing, so I don't want to give this up. I perhaps may just have to deal with the screams tonight as I attempt to put the gate up. At least we both will get a good night's rest-I hope.

Thanks for the comments and prayers that were sent my way over the weekend. I really needed it. I didn't get the chance to visit the cemetery because of the rain, but it was probably better that I didn't. As I mentioned, my plate is extremely full at the moment, so please keep the prayers coming. I recently got a letter in the mail from a good friend of mine, asking how I manage to keep everything together as a single mom. This question absolutely stumped me because I am far from having everything together! I often finish each day without my head being screwed on straight, but here's what I have learned to do to get through each day,

  1. Accept that I can only accomplish so much in one day (not an easy thing and it takes much practice)
  2. Make special time for Nehemiah everyday (this usually happens in the evening after dinner)
  3. Pray (how else would I keep my sanity)
  4. Prioritize (difficult to do when everything seems important)
  5. Allow myself to have some quiet time (this is still new, but I do like it)
  6. Cry (who says we're too old for a good tear or two)
  7. Separate work from my personal life (when I leave the office, I don't bring it home with me)
  8. Let home be my place of peace (this is crucial)

So dear friends, those are just a few things that help me get through the day. Now, if you ask me what I find most frustrating about being a single parent, well that in itself would be a very long post. I do know one thing's for sure, I wouldn't ask for my life to be any different. Although I may complain, I know that things could be much, much worse. Motherhood has brought such a sense of purpose to my life that I couldn't image it any other way. I love Nehemiah more than I could ever try to express, and on most days, he feels the same way (I hope). If I didn't have my son, I wouldn't have a reason to fight through the pain and difficulties that life unfortunately guarantees. Can you tell that I love being a mommy!

Well dear friends, I must say good evening and go back to studying. Feel free to share with me how you keep it all together!

Have a great week.

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