I had a really hard time on New Year's Eve. It was yet another reminder that I was ending the year alone and going into the New Year alone.
Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for my family and my friends, but it would be nice to have someone there for me. Does that make sense?
It would be nice to have someone (other than my mama) ask me how my day was, or to just listen to me vent my day's worth of frustrations.
On the other hand, I've been hurt so badly before that it's sometimes easier to just be alone. So here I am, stuck between the, "I don't want to be alone anymore," and the "I'm safe by myself" zone. I think the in-between place would be for me to date and check out my options before making a commitment of any sort. That sounds easy right? Wrong!
Well I haven't "dated" since 2006, and there is no one romantically interested. Just the same, there is no one currently catching my eye either. I don't know how to come out of the mom role and be; well, sexy and flirty. It's not that I don't want to be mom all the time, but I do think that I deserve some me time.
Am I focusing too much on myself because I want a social life?