Unapologetic Me

I did not post the last few days because I have not been feeling well. Actually, I was feeling terrible (I hate being a woman sometimes), but I'm proud to report that I'm much better today. On Tuesday, I finally tried out the yoga kit that my mom got for me. I was highly disappointed. The DVD was not what I was expecting, but at least I now have the stretch band and the yoga ball. Seeing that I couldn't use the DVD, I decided to do some hard core stretching. It felt so good to my arms and legs! I did realize that my left leg is not strong enough for any running at the moment. This leg is the one that gives me the most trouble, so I think I need to work on making it stronger. I'm okay with this. I can start walking and eventually begin running. I'm a little sore from the stretching, but it's a good feeling!

Nehemiah is growing like a weed! It looks I will be shopping for more clothes sooner than I expected. On May 12, 2006 I found out I was pregnant. I immediately began calling the baby NuNu. Obviously I didn't know if NuNu was a boy or a girl, but the nickname just felt right. Needless to say, the nickname stuck, so we still call Nehemiah NuNu. The other morning my NuNu looked at me and said, "Mama (my heart melts whenever he calls me this), I only want to be called Nehemiah or Miah. No more NuNu cause I'm a big boy now." He did mention that Nana however could still call him NuNu! I hope that Nehemiah and Nana are still very close when he's older. I will respect Nehemiah's wishes and no longer call him NuNu.

Things with the man friend are going well, and I'm very happy. School is good, but its keeping me so busy this session. I'm taking Sociology and I absolutely love it. I have decided to get my Master's Degree in Human Relations. Human relations is the ability to work through and with others in an organization; something all managers should know how to do. I'm still not 100 % sure what I want to be when I grow up because the options are endless. I am glad that I made the choice to become a business major. I will be working on my bachelor's degree for 2 more years, but why stop there right?

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Taking this Sociology class has taught me a lot about myself. For the past few years, my friend Nic has been telling me that I need to be unapologetic about my life and my choices. I have always considered what people would think about me if I did this or that. These thoughts kept me from doing things that could have made my life and Nehemiah's life much easier. No more will this be the case.

I will no longer apologize for doing whatever is necessary for Nehemiah and me to live our best lives. I will not apologize for what I believe in, for doing things that make me happy, or for any decision I make regarding my child. No more getting approval for living life the way I'm entitled to live it. I'm a grown woman and it's about time that I start putting my needs ahead of those around me. My needs have taken the back burner for so long that I began to feel like I didn't matter. Not anymore. My self-esteem issues stemmed from this, and you know what, I've come a long way, and taking care of me feels good. It makes me feel good, and when I'm happy it shows. I'm not afraid to be my real self anymore. So dear friends, this is me and my life, so you can either take it or leave it. When it comes down to it, you're either on my team or you're not.

Smooches