Friday, January 28, 2011

A Fabulous Life?

I was so excited to watch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion last night.  It was great, and I can’t wait to see the second half next week.  I’m hoping that Camille {who I love to hate} and Kyle can put their differences aside, and agree to disagree so they can move on!
On another note, I was thinking about life and all that good stuff which goes along with it.  This led me to the question, how do you know if you’re living your best, most fabulous life?  What is the basis of a fabulous life?  Often our society places much emphasis on the material aspects of life, such as how much money you have, the kind of car you drive, and your style of clothing.  Oh, and don’t forget to include the type of shoes on your feet.
Personally, I don’t feel that material objects justify a fabulous life.  In the midst of the chaos, I know that I am fabulously blessed.  I have more than I need, and I have never gone without.  Not to mention that I have the most awesomemest {this is a word from the Thomasina dictionary} kid one could ask for!  Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the material aspects of this life as well.  I hope that one day my life does become even more fabulous, so that I can enjoy some of the material stuff.  For instance, designer handbags would look quite lovely in my closet!  I wouldn’t mind designer labels occupying my hangers as well.  I just know that too much focus on material goods can definitely lead to an unfabulous life.
Well my sweets, it’s time for me to start my day. This entails cleaning my house, and then retail therapy with my mom.  My fingers are crossed that it doesn’t snow!
Enjoy your weekend, and remember to stay sweet!
T.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Unclear


I don't want to wallow on-and-on about this breakup, but there's more. The ex and I knew each other for years, and getting married was in our future {or so I thought}. There was even a ring. He purchased it, but luckily I didn't get or see it. It would have destroyed me. This leaves me wondering how you can love someone so much, and then turn around and let them go; all while professing your love for them in the same breath.

I know this was about him and not me, but I'm left feeling like something is wrong-with me. I asked my family/friends if I'm really some awful person, but no one has the guts to tell me. But then logic sinks in, and I realize that I have a good heart. My pain management therapist is very wise, and she told that if I could attract such a great guy once, I could do it again and this time he would be even better. Hopefully he'd be the one.

I feel like my clock is ticking. I'll be 29 in a few weeks, and I'm still not married! I'm not sure if I want more children, but that decision needs to be considered rarely soon, especially because I'm high risk due to the Fibro and seizures. I know there's no written rule that you have to be married in your twenties, but I never expected to be single in my late twenties. I was comfortable being single, but then I got used to being with someone, although we didn't get to see each other often due to his career.

The good thing is I can't cry today; I have a cold and my head is full and stuffy, so if I cried my head probably would explode!!

Enough about the breakup. I have some rather good news to share-I checked my grade book {I go to school online}, and my average so far for my public speaking course is a 94! Woo Hoo! I'm praying I can keep this up. I'm also praying that this head cold clears up because I have an awesome weekend planned. Retail therapy with my mom!

By the way, I was able to import my past posts from thinkpink247, so if you're new to the blog check out the old posts!

Happy Thursday everyone, and remember to stay sweet!!
T.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

From the Desk of the Broken Hearted


It's been a long time since the last time I blogged. Actually, I think it was in September. Back then I had to stop blogging because of the non-epileptic seizures, which I was having regularly. I went 10 weeks without a seizure, and then last Monday I broke my winning streak. I still feel the effects of the Fibromyalgia, but not as much as I used to. Nehemiah is now four, and handsome as ever! He loves school, and yes I'm still battling his sleeping habits. I'm still in school, and with the seizures I managed to pull off a 3.0 last semester! Not too shabby.

So, why a new blog you ask. I loved my thinkpink247 blog, but it was time to say goodbye. I left 2010 behind me seeing that it was such a difficult year, and unfortunately that meant that I needed to leave thinkpink247 in the past as well. I also didn't export thinkpink247 to this blog, so all my past posts are gone, but it's ok. I now have the chance to really start all over with this blog. So basically it was out with the old, and in with the new.

In October, 2010 I managed to fall in love. However, due to the distance issues the relationship didn't last. In fact, it ended on Saturday. It came as a total surprise, and my heart is heavy and broken. What makes it worse is that he didn't do anything wrong. He tried to look out for my best interest, as well as his own. If he would have cheated on me, or done some horrible thing then maybe this would be easier-I could hate him. But I don't hate him; I still love him-a lot. And this is what makes this breakup so horrific. I don't want to find anyone new. I want to be with him. I had to end all ties with him in order for me to function. I can't hold onto the hope that maybe we'll be back together; I won't be able to move on with my life.

I'm healing, and this process is never easy. I really believe that when we women love, we love hard. We love with our mind, heart, soul, and body. Our whole existence falls in love, which means that it has to fall out of love as well. It's a step-by-step ordeal. Will I ever fall in love again? Most definitely, I wear my heart on my sleeve. Will it be anytime soon? Most definitely not.
Sincerely,
T.

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